Why I Hate the Apple Store

I go to the Apple store in Ginza looking for Snow Leopard (for a client). Of course, there's no sign indicating what is on each floor because signs would dirty the clean, minimalist approach. So I ask them where the Snow Leopard upgrades are, and they say 2nd floor. I get the elevator, but there aren't any buttons in it. Other people get in, and we all look at each other confusedly. At least I wasn't the only one.

The retarded elevator goes to every floor. I get to the 2nd floor and find Snow Leopard, and I'm holding it like a moron trying to figure out how to pay. No registers. No checkout. Just a big brushed-aluminum party with a bunch of assholes in black shirts. I ask this douchebag how to pay, and he says someone will help me soon. Oh, and I'm sweating like a pig in my winter wear because the place is flooded with trendy, power-guzzling halogen lights. How very non-green of you, Apple.

Some trendy Apple chick comes along and asks me what version of OSX I'm upgrading from. I say 10.4. She says I need some useless "boxed set" that costs 3x as much and comes with a bunch of software I don't need. I told the client the upgrade was around 3500 yen. This boxed set is 13,000 yen. I say no freakin' way and leave, my mood less than kind as I now have to tell the client the "good news."

I briefly looked for stairs to get back down to the first floor, but--big surprise--no stairs. I had to wait for that retarded elevator. God forbid there ever be a fire in that store. Every person would burn as they claw at brushed aluminum wall panels trying to find the hidden fire escape. Others would die trying to use silver (Ironically red doesn't match the Apple design modus) fire extinguisher cylinders lacking any levers, buttons, or usage guides.

The problem is that the Apple Store is more like a showroom where they show off their crap, but don't actually sell it. If you actually wanna buy something there it's a total pain in the ass. I felt like everyone was looking at me thinking, "What's this guy doin'? He's buying something?"

Generally speaking, Apple makes decent stuff, but their minimalist, "you just have to know" approach really pisses the crap out of me sometimes. For example...

You boot a Dell or HP PC, and there are messages on the BIOS screen like "F2 to enter setup, F12 for boot menu." That's easy enough.
You boot a Mac, and you just stare at a dumb Apple logo. How do you boot to a CD or DVD? Do you know? You have to press the "C" key. Did you know that? Better yet, can you remember that? Maybe it was written on the back of the Apple stickers. Who knows. Wouldn't it be easier to just have it appear during the boot screen?

Apple hides it from you to make it simple.
Microsoft shows it to you to make it available.

Both approaches aren't without flaws, but when working outside the "media creator" realm that Mac excels at, Apple can really get on my nerves. When it comes to IT stuff, the free alternative OS Linux is the gleaming new star in my sky.