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Things I Miss About LA

  • the mahi-mahi burrito (baja style) from La Salsa
  • drinkin' wine and playin' NBA Jams for Super Nintendo with my best friends
  • having stuff in English
  • movie theaters that seat like 1500 people and make you go deaf
  • watchin' laker games
  • having a car
  • clubbing in Hollywood
  • watching "Family Guy" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm"
  • Costco
  • 24-pack of beer in bottles for
  • $18 (see Costco)
  • beer from countries other than Japan
  • a good martini in a glass the size of my head
  • no snow in the city, but then driving 1.5 hours to go snowboarding
  • drinks the size of a trash can and free refills!
  • eating Mexican food at 3 am
  • Georgio's pizza delivery
  • forced air heating
  • living in the same time zone as your friends
  • using feet, miles, and Fahrenheit as units of measurement
  • dinner at Islands (Island fries with ranch dressing)

Things I Don't Miss About LA

  • sitting in traffic on the 405
  • taking a deep breath of carbon monoxide-infested LA air
  • the 60 minute commute to work
  • doing anything and finding a million people there with the same idea
  • crazy winos potentially with guns
  • those damn SUVs everywhere
  • corporate America (insert double-barreled fingers here)
  • the massive piss I have to take after drinking 4 trashcan-sized cups of whatever at a restaurant

Things I Love About Japan

  • speaking complete nonsense in Japanese and having people still be ultra nice to you
  • T-shirts with really bad Engrish on them
  • people who get really excited when you speak Japanese to them
  • walking down the street at 2:00 am in downtown Tokyo and not feeling like I'm gonna get shot or raped or both
  • people who don't know a word of English, but think it's cool when you speak English
  • okonomiyaki, takoyaki, and gyoza
  • messing with the NHK guy
  • asking a simple question at a store and having 6 people scramble to help you
  • not having to give anyone a tip...ever
  • acting like I don't speak a word of Japanese when in fact I understand most of what you just said to me (see NHK guy)
  • having random people ask if they could take a picture with you
  • getting a haircut, then also getting a shiatsu massage and a drink
  • using foul language and slang and having people not know what the hell you are saying
  • my cell phone has a PDA, a digital camera, a TV, DVD player, email, a color screen, Internet access, and a time machine
  • getting free drinks at bars
  • heated toilet seats
  • it's considered cool to have a big nose here
  • clubs and bars that don't close until 5 am

Things I Don't Love About Japan

  • having to speak Japanese to get anything done
  • 12-pack of beer in cans for 3000 yen (about $28)  OUCH!
  • why does everyone have to smoke??
  • do they have to write EVERYTHING in Japanese??
  • buying a postcard and having it wrapped in 6 bags, then having the receipt wrapped in 8 bags
  • watching a show about "the rules of using chopsticks," and realizing that you have broken every single rule and done every possible taboo thing
  • that damn metric system

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