USA vs. Japan - Beer

This comparison will be snappy quick and simple.  Japan just doesn't stand a chance against the USA in the beer arena.

Japanese Beer is Too Expensive
Japan does make some great-tasting beer, but unfortunately tobacco-loving Japanese politicians decided to tax the crap out of it, building a massive barrier to my regular beer enjoyment (unless you're paying).  Beer isn't good for you, but cigarettes make a much more appropriate taxation target.  Cigarettes are both bad for you and annoy others around you.  Beer at least doesn't give off carcinogenic fumes.  I digress.

To skirt the beer tax and improve sales, Japanese brewers release cheap near-beer substitutes (aka malt liquor) that in summary tastes worse than expired Bud Ice mixed with cat pee.  Granted some are noble attempts, but they're just not the real thing.

And if you're in the mood for imported beer, I hope you have your Swiss bank account number handy.  $6 for a single 12 oz. can of Budweiser?  No thanks, Mr. Miyaji.

Japanese Beer All Tastes the Same
Asahi, Sapporo, Kirin--I can't tell the difference.  Yebisu is a little different (being "premium"), but not by much.  Once in a while the big 3 brands will release a dark something-or-other, but then all those taste the same too.  I can't even tell the difference with their "season limited" releases.  Maybe it's just the can.  And maybe the entire country shares the same beer recipe.

Japan just doesn't have the beer variety that the USA enjoys.  When I compare Michelob to Rolling Rock to Sam Adams to Pyramid to Black Star (Please tell me Black Star is still around.), I break down and cry like a grown man deprived of awesome affordable beer.  Sam Adam's plethora alone blows Japan's beer variety out of the water.  Pumpkin ale, hefeweisen, Bohemian pilsner, Irish red, triple bock--God bless America.

And shame on you, Japan.  Your beer is overpriced and all tastes the same.  Well, now that I think about it, maybe it's not all bad.  At least I'm thinner than most of my beer-drinking American friends because I simply can't afford to regularly indulge in the calorie-packed hoppy magic that is BEER.