If you've read some of my other blog articles, you realize that I'm often obsessed with finding the ultimate of something. Well, this time my target is loopers--lovely musical devices / software that allow you to create stimulating sound-on-sound performances. Ever since seeing Joseph Arthur perform jaw-dropping live looping, I too wanted to explore this fascinating world of live looping performance. This is my tale...
If you're reading this, you too probably want to get your impossible-to-unlock iPhone carrier-unlocked. You did some googling and found officialiphoneunlock.co.uk (also doing business as iphoneimei.net). You read a lot of positive reviews. You saw their Facebook page with a flood of comments from satisfied customers. Their site looks comparatively legitimate because they have an address and phone number published. Maybe you're planning on placing an order with them.
Don't. It's a scam. Allow me to share my story.
2. It messes up your face.
3. It gets stuck in your teeth at the worst possible time.
4. It makes your breath stink.
5. It makes you fart.
6. It makes you poo.
7. It can get you really sick and make you barf.
8. It makes you thirsty, then you have to drink water, and that opens a whole other can of worms. (Please see "Reasons Why Water Sucks" volumes 1,2, and 3).
9. It makes you fat.
10. It makes you feel like a lazy lion.
11. It gets your teeth all dirty.
12. You HAVE to eat, so you're a slave to food for your entire life. Food is your master! Ahhhhhh!
13. It makes you have to wash your hands and use napkins.
14. It can taste really bad.
15. It can smell up the whole place.
16. When other people are eating food, then you might get hungry too.
17. Did I mention it makes you POO?
18. You get grumpy and start making all these dorky noises when you don't have food.
19. It can burn and start fires.
20. It makes you indecisive cuz there are so many different types of food. Then you waste all this time trying to decide while your stomach growls away. Then you don't get to eat cuz you spent so much time deciding what you want to eat that you're now late for your chiropractor appointment. Then your chriopractor gets pissed and cracks your back in half.
That's why I say: SCREW FOOD!
2. It's wet.
3. You have to drink it.
4. You have to bathe in it.
5. It always makes you have to pee.
6. It always makes you have to pee when you can't get to a bathroom.
7. It flows through you so fast that you're pertetually in the state of having to pee.
8. It makes your belly all big and squishy.
9. It sloshes around in your tummy.
10. It messes up your hair.